4-8-1996
Today, I am lost.
I want to run away from all the hurt I seem to cause to those I love.
Only my desire to see this through binds me.
My daily routine no longer exists. I am racked with indecisiveness. I am lost. In a physical sense, I know exactly where I am. Yet much like a panic, my sense of grounding is gone. I want to run, in any direction, hoping to find some solid ground upon which I can rebuild my psyche. I began this journey and I will complete it. Empathy will be the death of me. I seem to cause great discomfort to those I love and I can feel their unease with me. It is as if they are telling me to go away so that they can resume their previously quiet lives.
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